With the inception of the word fixie, came a twisted mouth and the loss of coolness. It was cool, right? Like slap bracelots in the nineties, pulled off the market because they were cutting writsts. Cool like pogo sticks, or neon, or powdered sugar flavored like a fruit. What makes cool, cool (I realize it is very uncool to investigate this. Although I'm pretty sure uncool is cool)? The Online Etymology Dictionary says the verb kele was used by Shakespeare, but has been assimilated to an adjective. Cool was used in 1728 to give emphasis to large sums of money. In 1825 it was used to mean "calmly audacious" (the website doesn't cite where this occured). This brings us to the current usage of the word cool, popularized by the jazz saxophonist, Lester Young, to mean "fashionable".
People who have fashion are noted by it. They are fashionable. They are able to determine if a thing or a person is also fashionable. Not everyone is fashionable. It is something to covet and something that lurks. The word fixie plops out of the mouth, and may come with spittle, depending on your palate. It is not secret or stealth or fashionable. It is commonly used. This does not make it fashionable. Rather, this makes it -un.
I bought a Mercier Kilo TT because it was cheap. I put my brooks on it, detaped and degooed the bars, and replaced the clipless pedals. I had to tape one of the nylon straps to prevent the buckle from hitting the crank arm. My whip is kind of sweet. It's also kind of hip. Whatever. I don't have anything to prove. I'll be the chick discreetly doing trackstands, pretending not to see who's looking.
And look at that beer! It's at walgreens with an abv of 4.5. Pretty sure that's cool.